with Lori Rubenstein,
Life Coach and Divorce Mediator

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Divorce and Life Coaching FAQ

1. What exactly is coaching?
2. Who becomes a coaching client and what do they work on?
3. What is the Coaching process?
4. What are the benefits of coaching?
5. What can I expect from you as my coach?
6. What are the costs?

1. What exactly is coaching?
Coaching is a new approach to personal growth. A coach helps you find the clarity and direction in your life and supports you in a non-judgmental way to take actions needed to reach your desires.

Coaching is unlike counseling or psychotherapy in that your coach assumes that you are a whole, healthy, resourceful individual. A Coach does not analyze you or diagnose you. The focus is the present and future, not the past. At first, your coach may hold you bigger than you may hold yourself, until you are comfortable with the knowledge that all answers are within you.

It is unlike consulting, in that your Coach doesn't supply you with answers and solutions. Coaches do not give you advice on how to live your life. A Coach believes that the answers lie within you and the coach assists you in discovering what they are.

In a coaching relationship, the Coach is a partner and the entire focus is on you, on your choices, and on finding the joy and passion in your life. The coach helps you "stay the course" on your individual path. Coaching deals with you as a whole person, with all aspects of your life. Whatever the changes you choose, your Coach is there 100% for you.

There is no other relationship quite like the coach/client relationship.

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2. Who becomes a coaching client and what do they work on?
The short answer is that the choice is limitless. Many successful CEOs and entrepreneurs have coaches. Some people have a short-term specific goal, such as to lose weight, write a business plan, or to start a new business.

I specialize in helping people through difficult transitions. This may be a divorce, a separation, dealing with the teen years, children leaving home, a new career, the loss of a job, starting a business, dealing with a major illness, the death of a loved one, finding a new partner, dealing with a second marriage or incorporating a new spouse and parent for your children into your life.

I also love helping clients remove clutter and things that drain them from their lives. My coaching clients transcend their current situation and once again, find joy and passion in their lives.

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3. What is the Coaching process?
One of the wonderful things about coaching is that it can all be done by telephone. There is an initial 2-3 hour intake process. Then, we 'meet' once a week, three to four weeks per month, for one-half hour. There is typically a 3 month initial commitment. The exact coaching schedule varies with each client, as it is geared to meet your needs.

As your coach, I listen to you, without judgment, in a safe and confidential relationship. Together, we discover your inner values, what makes you - YOU. I ask you powerful questions that help reveal those answers. As Coach, I hold you BIG…knowing you can live your life according to your inner values, rather than according to all those "shoulds" placed upon you. Some people need to gear up and take action, others need to slow down and just "be".

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4. What are the benefits of coaching?
Balance. Harmony with life. Living life 'on purpose'. Joy. Passion. Integrity. Peace within. A feeling of connectedness. Oh, and did I say Balance?

Here is an example from my own coaching experience: I was really frustrated arguing with my children every night at bedtime. I felt 100% sure that they were doing this to disrespect me.

My coach asked, "What is another perspective?"
I answered: "They are wound up and really not tired".
She asked, "What is another perspective?"
I answered: "That they are testing their boundaries".
She asked, "What is another perspective?"
I answered: "That they feel they are asserting their individual rights".
She asked, "What is another perspective?
I answered: "They want to spend more time with me".

Once we see that there are other perspectives, we are free to choose and to hold a different perspective! For parents who have dealt with this issue, you can clearly see how powerful this is. If I choose to believe that "'my children just want to spend more time with me", rather than, "they are disrespecting me", I can lovingly come up with a solution to make bedtime easier.

As a coach, I can help you brainstorm, plan and stick to your plan. If you choose, you can be held accountable in a strong and loving way. Then we celebrate your success!

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5. What can I expect from you as my coach?
As a coach, I bring to my practice the qualities I have given my clients over the past 15 years as an Attorney and Mediator:

• Clarity that this is YOUR LIFE! I am here to serve you to reach your goals, to feel balanced, to discover your values and to live your life authentically, in alignment with those values.
• Compassion: I care deeply about you.
• Unconditional support: I am 100% here for you. This is a safe, nonjudgmental partnership.
• Different perspectives: I tell people that the number one attribute I gained from coaching and have incorporated in my life is the ability to see different perspectives.
• Humor! It is extremely important to be able to laugh and enjoy the process.
• Life experience: I have had a varied and fulfilling life. Finding balance was a great feat for me. Coaching really helped me in this area.
• Removing barriers: I love brainstorming with clients about what is blocking them from living a fulfilling life. Once you know what these blocks are, you remove them one by one, revealing your true, essential self.
• Focusing on what you want: Creating an "Absolute YES" list and then having my support as your coach while you change how you respond to requests for your time.
• Common sense: I always felt that as an attorney I was able to see the whole picture. I help you to accept that what is happening in your life is happening for a reason. What is most important is how you respond to these life events.

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6. What are the costs?
What I love about coaching is that the process of discovering (or rediscovering) your inner values and living your life from the inside out, is the greatest investment or gift someone can experience. There is no other relationship that moves you forward more swiftly than coaching. Here are the various investment options:

2 - 1 hour sessions per month - $180	3 - 45 minute sessions per month - $180
3 - 1/2 hour sessions per month - $135	Add monthly e-mail support - $50
Emergency - per hour (within 24 hours) - $150

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Dare to Transcend with Coach Lori Rubenstein