with Lori Rubenstein,
Life Coach and Divorce Mediator

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Ask the Coach

Meet the Parents... or Not!

I'm a single guy, 35 years old and am definitely interested in getting married in the next couple of years. I've been dating this really nice woman, single, 31 years old, for about three months. I really like her and think she might be "the one". We share many common interests, have similar future plans, and we have a great time together. I like her and want to get to know her better.

But, I have one big problem. She's always talking about her family, how great they are, and tells me about the nice times she has visiting with them when she's not with me. They actually only live a couple miles from her home.

The weird thing is that she has never once asked me to attend a family event with her so that I could meet them. I talked to her about this, but she didn't seem really engaged in the conversation and merely says, "it's too early in the relationship to introduce you to them." Is this a "red flag"?

Is there something wrong when someone doesn't introduce you to their family or should I just give her more time? I think three months of dating is plenty of time to qualify for "meeting the parents." What do you think?

Brad from Balboa

Dear Brad,

Your relationship sounds like a very healthy one. Just as you are questioning at this point, "Is she the one", she may very well be thinking the same thing.

It is actually very healthy that she is not introducing you to her family until she knows that you are in fact the one for her. Have you discussed exclusivity with her? Have you told her that you are interested in a committed relationship? You are at a stage where many people make assumptions that the other person is thinking and feeling the same. Check it out with her, open the discussion. You do not need to know ahead of time how she will respond, just practice a little vulnerability by letter her know where you stand. Her response should give you a clearer idea of whether you are both still on the same track.

Coach Lori